Enough with all the peace and light and joy and good will. I shopped all morning and I'm feeling ornery. Let's mock other people.
Things I'm Over
1) Snow. 1a) Ice. 1b) Icicles. 1c) Sludge. 1d) Scraping car windows. 1e) Frozen fingers.
2) Highs of eight degrees. 2a) Snow pants. 2b) Boots. 2c) Carrying wood. 2d) Wiping dog paws.
3) People who bemoan the lack of free thinking in the blogging community and then mock mercilessly anyone who disagrees with them.
4) Too cool for school blog posts/twitter references intended to make the rest of us feel dumb for speaking up or voicing an opinion.
5) Passive aggressive posts that never refer directly to the actual event that they are discussing. Oh, wait. Huh.
6) The behavior that I am exhibiting in this post.
7) Advent calendars. 7a) Creepy shelf elves that report to Santa at night. 7b) Brilliant millionaires who thought to market creepy shelf elves. 7c) Gingerbread house school projects. (I have been assigned frosting THREE times. They do not sell frosting at the dollar store, o teachers of mine children, I want animal crackers or mini-candy canes.)
8) People who think they are smarter than I am, even if they are smarter than I am.
9) Tweets that assume everyone on twitter is horrified by every single move any Republican makes any where.
10) The idea that Amazon is bound by the constitutional restriction of limits of free speech placed on the government. (Last I checked, Amazon had not yet taken over the government. Although, I believe there are several representatives from Georgia who align with the Amazon party.)
This one goes to eleven!
11) The idea that writers of pedop.helia propaganda are entitled to equal protection under the U.S. Constitution.
(Leaving aside the fact that Amazon.com is not the government (hopefully, barring coup), last I checked, even if Amazon were the government, pedo.philes and their propagandizers are not a protected class in the realm of constitutional law that prohibits discrimination by the government, like oh let's say, race or gender or political alignment, which means that the government may discriminate against pedo.philes in regards to their free speech rights so long as there is a rational basis for doing so. I'll give you a rational basis: Writing about how best to sed.uce chil.dren for your own sick sex.ual pleasu.re and then marketing that writing on Amazon. There's your rational basis. (Yes, I have been annoyed by this for months, thank you.))
Twelve!
12) Tweets by political bloggers suggesting that anyone who disagrees with the current regime is racist. (Not that I think Obama runs a regime. Because that's a very scary eastern dictator type of word, isn't it? Which might suggest that I thought he was a ... oh for fu.ck sake.)
Okay, let's go for twenty!
13) Christmas catalogs.
14) Sixteen and pregnant.
15) Peppermint bark knock-offs. Only William Sonoma's will do, trust me on this.
16) The word douche used as an adjective.
17) The dying baby pterodactyl noise that Nate makes when he wants something.
18) Whining. In particular, my children's whining, but I'm willing to paint with a broad brush here. Don't even think about whining at me in the comments. Italics are suspect because that's kind of a whiny font.
19) People who speak a second language fluently. Damn them for being smarter than me.
20) ?? (Your turn. What are you over?)
This list was inspired by Anna's Friday lists at www.abdpbt.com, because I may be a snarky bitch occasionally, but I'm not an identity vampire and I always try to give credit where due.
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