If you clamp down with your freakishly strong, little gums one more time on my unsuspecting nipple, I swear to God I am going to smother you by pushing you into my boob until you let go like the baby book suggests. That is not a rubber teething toy for your amusement. It is wired to my brain via nerves that scream their unhappiness when you gnaw on it. The other option is weaning, little man, and that means no more 2:00 a.m. numnums snuggling in bed with momma. I don't do middle of the night bottles. If I pull the bewbie, I'm going to go all Ferber on your ass.
Don't make me go there. It's cold and lonely in the nursery.
Love, Momma
I'm closing my comments for most of the month of November while I participate in National Novel Writing Month and National Blog Posting Month. I can't ask you to talk to me every freaking day for thirty days. That's cruel and usual punishment. My email is always open - anymommyoutthere@gmail.com.E&E Tally: 1032 words (Hmmmmm. Less than 49K to go.)
Blog posts: 3/30 (Better.)
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