Ghost of Halloweens Past

Counting time in holidays scares me. Because it proverbially flies, like a ghost in the misty All Hallow's Eve air, or maybe rolls, like a pumpkin in that silly child's ditty we have sung way to many times this week at toddler class. Is this really the fourth Halloween since I had my first child? Have we really gone through this ritual of costumes and pumpkins and fall festivals and candy three times already?

Three Halloweens ago, I was an unsure new mom, trying the ill-fitting mom garb on for size, trying not to break my precious (extremely zitty, hello baby acne) baby boy.

And also, apparently, scaring the living crap out of my poor three-week-old. He's all, dude, there is something weird stuck to your face.

Then suddenly, one year later, I had three little costume wearers. Two I barely knew, home with us for just fifteen days.





I love that first picture. He's like, yeah, they're always like this, you'll get used to it, and she's thinking, what in the world have I gotten myself into?


This is gratuitous, it's just my absolute favorite picture of Ess' first weeks home.

Another year gone with a gust and a thunderclap and there I was, rubbing my eyes on Halloween Day 2007. I had lost a child and gained one in that year. I had three costumed cuties and a wiser, heavier heart. I didn't wear mommy like a costume any more. I was mommy.






I think these pictures tell the whole story. Not so much for Gee with the shark hood. Whereas Ess, she got it immediately: I look adorable, people give me things. I made that little guitar that Cue is holding, because I am awesome.

Here we are. Halloween 2008. We don't wear family of five like a costume any more. We are. We are brothers, sister, mom and dad. We identify ourselves that way, all of us, without a hitch or a pause or a question.

But, today, if you ask them, they'll tell you proudly that they are an Alligator, a Horse and a Fireman.





I'm a mom. I don't even have to dress up or pretend. I even like it. Who knew? Time stand still, just a little bit longer. (Five points for the name of the classic rock band whose lyrics I just stole shamelessly.)

Also, randomly, except for it involves the word scary which applies to Halloween absolutely and completely, five more points if you can tell me the ridiculously funny animated movie with this line:

"She's old, and scary beyond all reason." If you know the name of her (the old and scary one's) sidekick, I will worship you forever, because you are all kinds of awesome. Or, I could give you five points for that too.

Happy Halloween. I hope the roles you're playing fit you well this year.