I'm supposed to pass on a bit of advice or tell her something about having two children that she may not expect. Just what a pregnant woman needs, right? More things to worry about. A few weeks ago, she wrote about her trepidation surrounding her second child. It's a scary thing, contemplating how your family will function with two babies instead of one.
Right after I had Quinn, an awesome friend told me something that made me laugh and I've never forgotten. She said, "once you have more than one child, someone is always crying." (Hi, Truda!!) Sounds grim, huh? But, it isn't. At least, for me. I could be weird (okay, okay, shut up), but it's made me feel better so many times. It's reminded me that it's all right that things change as your family grows. One mommy can't be every where at once.
Quinn would squawk in angry newborn indignation while I tried to get Saige and Garrett settled with lunch before I nursed him. The guilt would kick in and I'd panic thinking, omigod, I NEVER let Garrett cry like that, I met his every newborn whim eagerly. Then, I'd take a deep breath and think, but Garrett doesn't have an older brother. Garrett would throw a temper tantrum while I nursed Quinn and I'd let him scream and writhe on the floor. My eyes would fill with tears and then I'd think, it's okay, he's learning how families work. He's learning that the sun and moon and stars don't revolve around him and that I can care for them all without anyone's world crashing in around their ears. Plus, I'd think, oh Garrett's already crying, if I cry, I'll go over the quota.
The point is that they do cry more. You can't meet the baby's every need instantly with a toddler running you ragged. You can't be at the toddler's beck and call with a newborn's demands. Some days, it seems like no one is happy, least of all mom.
Except when everyone is happy. When everyone is happy, it's pure magic. The thing about siblings is that, someone may always be crying, but someone's almost always laughing too. And, oh, when they are all laughing. When they are giggling together over some little game they made up, or a funny song they are singing, when they are shrieking with joy as they chase each other around the living room, when they are engaged for an hour, pouring over the same book, pointing out animals to each other with serious concentration, that's when you know what a gift brothers and sisters are. That's when you hide behind a wall so that they won't see you, just watching, with tears of happiness on your cheeks.
Because happiness is family. Here's a peek at your future, with love to the iFamily from the AnyFamily.
Happiness is...
New scooters for your birthday.
Sneaking a turn.
A bouncy train at your third birthday party.
That your mother thought would fit up there in the grassy area. Aha.
A little rum in your spiced cider.
Good friends to share your day.
A girlfriend so amazing that she saves your mother's lazy butt and makes horse cupcakes for your birthday party.
Kick-ass horse cupcakes. I mean, move over Martha.
Happiness is sharing it all with your brothers and sisters.
For more tips for going from one to two, and more advice, good and bad, on having your second baby, check out Psychmamma, Issa's Crazy World, Eat Play Love, Insta-mom, The Big Piece of Cake and For a Different Kind of Girl.
Congratulations, iMommy!
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