Three Things That Have Really Chapped My Parental Ass Recently

**Changed to divide into two posts, because it's two separate issues and it was too long and I'm anal retentive like that.**

In no particular order.

Part I. Spank Me, Baby (Or, Don't, It's Your Kid, But for the Love of God, Leave Other Parents Alone)

I'm on the board of my kids' toddler/preschool co-op. Just call me over-achieving mommy. We had an officer training a few weeks ago for all the co-ops in our area. Why yes, that is as infinitely boring as it sounds, thanks for asking. For the group discussion portion, there were huge pieces of paper taped to the wall with IMPORTANT and DIFFICULT issues raised on each one.

Here's the one that made my butt cheeks clench in irritation: "You witness a mom in your co-op spanking her child, what do you do?" Underneath the question the various co-op board members wrote their answers, like "call social services," "ask the mom to leave co-op," "call the FBI, CIA and life police, mad mommy on the loose."

I'm not a huge spanking advocate, but come on. Judge much? Come at parenting from one narrow-minded view point much? I can not tell you how much I hate parenting questions (or parenting books, or parents) phrased in this sanctimonious, there-is-only-one-right-way-to parent-and-that's-my-way tone. Here's what specifically bugs me. The sign didn't say "You witness a mom lose control with her child" or "You witness a mom physically discipline someone else's child." No, it was worded to be so inclusive as to rule out any kind of physical discipline as 'bad parenting' and firmly suggested the answer in its construction. Would you answer, "nothing" to that question, as worded?

At the risk of labeling myself for all time as a rabid, right-wing, spare-the-rod-spoil-the-child type (which I am not): Hi, I'm Stacey and I have thwacked diaper-padded butt with my palm on occasion. Is it my favorite discipline form? No. Do I usually feel as though I have reached a critical frustration level on a certain behavior and try to find another way to deal with it? Yes. But, I very firmly feel that there is room for rational minds and excellent parents to disagree on this issue. That sign embodied all that I dislike most about co-op and parenting in general: The my way or the highway, look down your nose, parenting expert of the moment aspect. (For the record, I LOVE my co-op, fabulous group of moms, winter sanity saver, paint and other messy activities not in my house.)

I know the very word 'spank' in relation to children triggers some people's five-alarm-fire button. I probably deserve a good spanking on my diaper-padded butt in the comments for just daring to bring it up. I know that some consider any physical discipline at all bad parenting and I respect that viewpoint. But, that's what it is, a view point, not a moral imperative.

Personally, if I witnessed a mom thwack diaper-padded butt (or otherwise reasonably physically discipline her OWN child) at co-op, I would give her a hug and buy the poor woman a latte. You know she had to be at the very, very, tippy end of her rope on the behavior in question to pull out the thwack in front of THAT group of judges.