The Editor's Letter by Sally Lee, Editor-in-Chief on page 12 has caused me to chew and swallow my own tongue. No, I jest. It's only a little mangled.
I've been trying to write a calm, cohesive response. So far, I'm unable to focus past my anger and disappointment. So, I've decided to post the letter here without my commentary. I would love to hear your initial reaction to it. Whether you've adopted or not, considered adopting or not, what do you think? Does it inspire shock, agreement, anger, guilt, nothing in particular? Be honest. I'm not looking to slam anyone's opinion here. If you find nothing wrong with it, I'd love to hear that. I need a little discussion and perspective.
Just so no one feels blind-sided, I am appalled. Despite our heartbreaking experiences with one of our adopted children, I adore and advocate adoption. I think it is an incredible and fulfilling way to grow a family. But, I would never write a letter like this, not to one person, let alone a readership of millions.
Tomorrow, after I've thought more about this and any thoughts you have, I'm going to post a response letter. I'm hoping that I will have deleted most of the expletives by then. Also, if you're not bored to tears by my issues, I'd love to hear your thoughts on my thoughts and whether they caused you to look at the letter any differently.
Here it is. Thanks!
The Editor's Letter from the August 2008 Parents entitled The Adoption Option.
This month's special report, "Adoption Diaries," profiles four couples who created their family through adoption. Each adopted under different circumstances, and for different reasons, but all are thrilled with the outcome. Read the article on page 90 and then find a good agency and adopt a child yourself.
No, I'm not kidding.
Though there are so many children in the world who need a good home, I'm confident that there are an equal number of families with love to spare. I'm also pretty sure that some of the best and most committed moms and dads in the world read Parents magazine.
Each year there are around 150,000 domestic and international adoptions in the U.S. I wish we could double that number. I know many of you have considered adoption: According to a national poll nearly 81.5 million people have, and 63 percent of all Americans think positively about it. Yet very few families actually do it. Some are afraid they won't love "someone else's child." Others fear that it's unpredictable, that a prospective birth mother might change her mind, or that a child could have unknown medical or emotional issues. Some parents worry that adoption is expensive (yes, it can be, but it costs less than a new car - and almost 8 million of those were bought in '07).
I know all about those fears. I'm a control freak, and when Rob and I first discussed adoption, we debated the pros and cons for months. We went around and around in circles until we finally realized we couldn't make this decision based on logic - we had to make it on faith. And that's what we did. Pearl joined our family in 2001, and today we can say with utmost certainty that adopting Pearl and the birth of Grace were the two most rewarding experiences we've ever had (or are likely to have) in our whole lives.
So if you are dealing with fertility issues, or if you plan on having another child, or if you're the type of parent who gets choked up about all the injustice in the world, then I'd urge you to take another look at the adoption option. Just believe in the transformative power of your love. I promise, it's enough.
/s/ Sally Lee (Editor-in-Chief, Parents magazine)
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