"I can't believe you leave the house!" Um, we have to, otherwise, I would have way too much privacy and I would kill several of them. Did I say that out loud?
No. Seriously. I just do, the same as all parents, I think. It's never easy. There's always something. I made a photo journal of how we did a trip to the splash pad. Except, I have no photos of large chunks of the morning because I only have five hands.
The kids watch Clifford while I feed babynater into a milky coma, pack a picnic and load the car. When all is ready, I turn off the TV, releasing Ess and Gee from their stupor and we load the van. That sounds like it takes five minutes but it actually takes twenty-five minutes, what with the reminding and the coaxing and the endless feet dragging and the questions (ohmygod the questions). During the loading process, I repeatedly tell myself that the morning needs to be filled with something and if it takes two hours to get into the van, well then we are two hours closer to quiet/naptime and that is a good thing and just keep breathing because you can totally have a Starbucks chai on the way to the splash pad.
Breathe.
Splash pad happiness lasts exactly five minutes before Ess has a signature snit fit and babynater decides he can not possible survive another minute without MORE MILK. There are no pictures of any of this because I'm good, but I reach my limit at nursing, giving my daughter a timeout and monitoring my other two sons in the splash pad.
No hands left for pictures.
After the nurse fest, they have their picnic. That's peanut butter on muffins. I said I packed a picnic, I didn't say it was nutritious in any way.
Oh! A picture. In my photo journal post. Surprise.Thankfully, the baby continued to do this for the rest of the morning.
We do a little splashing (no pictures, not sure why) and a little play ground.
Time to go home, everyone hold the stroller please.
Babynater waves his arm to signal distress. Hello! Marginally in charge woman with the milky boobies? This seems a little dangerous. Anyone?
Okay, to the van, get in your seats. This is my children completely ignoring that 
Babynater is still hanging in the stroller. It's like he's been left there. Free to a good home! Kidding. I'm still buckling.
My favorite part of any outing. Total containment.
Sigh. A moment of grateful silence please. Babynater is still sleeping. There is a god.
On the way home, overcome with exhaustion and hunger, I have to stop and get this.
What? I don't want nasty muffins and peanut butter.Thank you McDonald's for your three cookies for a dollar.
Almost nap time. Haven't killed any of them yet.
Quiet time for Ess and Gee. Nap time for Cue. Shoes off. Inside. Everyone use the potty. Oops. Don't forget the baby.
Ahhhhhhhhh. Relative quiet. Only the occasional screech from the basement.Time for a few minutes of this.
I set up my couch nest like so.
Just as I sink into that lovely couch corner, babynater starts doing this.
So, instead, we do this, while I twitter and eat one-handed.
The answer to how I do it? Barely. Just barely.
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