It will take some convincing, but I will finagle my way to San Diego next year.
I can't explain it, except like this: There are so few opportunities in this life to truly celebrate the joy and creativity and talent you find in others. At Blogher, tiny new bud green tendrils curl shyly out from my mind and gently wrap around the thoughts and the energy of the women around me. Reading someone's blog is a shortcut to their heart. To stand there in front of them and smile over all we don't have to say is, well, priceless.
I spent this weekend celebrating with and for the accomplishments of 2290 women (and ten men).
We celebrated fabulous writing and design. I cried with pride and happiness and pleasure to see Marinka make 2000 people laugh and Amy sing to a crowd of thousands and Jill present her design work.
We celebrated art and I wandered alone for over an hour gazing at pictures created by friends to honor the words of other friends.
At lunches and dinners, we celebrated friendship.
At Serendipity, Kari, Kim, Cat, Issa and I celebrated frozen peanut butter hot chocolate.
(Notice how my hair is holding up, here.)
Scarymommy, Jill, Carolyn Online, Twenty-four at heart, Momo Fali, Amy of the bitchinwivesclub, annsrants, vodkamom, ohmommy, me, wendiaarons, , Heather of the EO, and PostPicketFence (hiding out of frame). (photo stolen from Scarymommy)
(PS OMG! Look at my hair handle the swamp! We tamed that bitch.)
At breakfast, I sat across from Ann (and finally got my lox) and celebrated her vision and my luck to get to sit there for an hour, talking.
(Imagine another picture here of another dinner that filled my heart til it burst with this cast of lovelies: Anna See, Kate of the Big Piece of Cake, Issa, Kari Heart, LilWelshRarebit, Jill, Jonna, and, of course, Nate.)
At panels, we laughed until we cried with (at? ;-) Marinka and Kelsey and Wendi and Jessica Bern.
I stole a hug from Ryan and managed to beg him to take Nate's picture.
In quiet corners, in suites meant for a moment of serenity in a sea of chaos, in rooms and hallways we celebrated agents signed and awards won.
Late into the night, whispering so as not to wake the baby, we celebrated starting over and learning from mistakes.
Nate rocked his tutu at the Sparklecorn party, briefly, before he demanded sleep and I retired to the hall. (Photo stolen from Issa's Crazy World.)
Over coffee, we celebrated support from a widespread network and a mother's fragile health.
In down moments, I took a deep breath and celebrated myself, my right to be there, taking it all in, spending time with women who inspire me and humble me and challenge me to be better.
I had my hard moments. Moments of sheer terror to look around a room of hundreds and recognize no one, moments of overwhelming emotion, moments where I felt like an ass for not remembering someone's name, for being distracted, for losing sight of the moment. I bolted from the Community Keynote because the child care suite was closing and then cried in the hall alone with Nate because I wanted to be there, taking it all in, celebrating friends and strangers for their talent and I wanted to be here, holding my baby who patiently spent the whole day with kind strangers.
Late, late, late the last night, or early, early, early the last morning, depending on your point of view, my roommates and I had a funny conversation about what it meant for many people to think I was nice.
I hope that it means that they understand how much I strive to be gentle with others' hearts and hopes and feelings, though I don't always get it right.
I hope that it means that my celebration of all of you was evident on my face and in my smile.
I can be quiet and reserved. I felt torn between my baby and the chaos. I have opinions. I can snark. But, this weekend, I threw my fistfuls of glitter into the air over and over. I hope it landed in your hair and you smile when you pull out a little sparkly bit of purple and think of me, celebrating you.
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These links are a mess, but I'm exhausted and the sentiment is true.
*Credit to Pink.
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