Chaos Theory

I have this theory about Matt and I: We are driven to create and then control the maximum amount of chaos possible before we implode into little chaotic bits of sobbing mush on the floor.

It's not that we enjoy chaos. It's that we crave it because it is so satisfying to tame it.

I remember from college, many moons ago, that the universe and all things in it, left to drift in their natural state, decline into chaos. It takes something to create order. Energy. Collective effort. Will. Power. In there somewhere rests my definition of "god." A force that can organize and reverse chaos and create order out of randomness. My personal theology also holds that the energy, will, power, whatever you want to call it that drives the Powerful Force for Order Instead of Chaos in our universe is fed by joy. I like that because I'm simple and it lets me think that I can help. I can fight misery, destruction, randomness and evil simply by living with as joyous a heart as possible.

On the flip side, I like it because it means that there is no bearded omnipotent being out there deciding who is blessed and who is unblessed. Who prayed sufficiently to be rewarded with miracles and who didn't. The universe is just full of randomness and some of it is crappy. I also like it because some of the things that are the scariest for me, death, in particular, are, I am forced by the whole circle of life thing to notice, part of a wider ordering of things. It comforts me to know that a powerful force for joy and order might perceive endings and beginnings differently than I do. Might even see all as rotating and spinning and orbiting and continuing as it should, even in the face of individual pain. That makes the actual pain suck not one iota less, but it's what I've got.

What I am trying to tell you is that the reason I did an unbelievably crazy thing. The reason I caved like a crumbly hillside in a rainstorm. The reason I am standing here shaking my head at my own thick-headed stupidity is not my fault. The universe hurtles toward chaos, I am just along for ride.




Imagine, if I can bring order out of this chaos and hold onto my joy, what an amazing contribution I will be making to the universe as a whole. My insanity is doing the entire universe a favor.

You are all welcome.

Meet the anypuppy. Hampton Noodle.



Wait. It gets worse. I like to go the extra mile for the greater good. Hampton Noodle's Daddy, Tex, weighs 160 pounds.

I really kind of deserve my eleven to twelve year sentence of hair balls and drool, don't I?

Before you judge, look. I'm creating order out of chaos already. I'm starting to see some positives.