Ten Reasons I Haven't Posted Serious Stuff Like I Said I Would

1) We abandoned our four crib system and Ess, Gee and Cue are now all in toddler beds. In the same room. This involved changing the furniture in their room and you all know how I feel about change. (Post(s) I should have written: (1) There is Life and Sleep After Cribs; (2) I Promise They Are All Still Alive.)

2) Nate's car seat has been moved into his crib. In the nursery. (Post I should have written: Why Didn't I Do This Two Months Ago?)

3) We are on our fifth night - our fifth night - of ten hours of sleep. Consecutive sleep. (Post I should have written: There Is a God and She Loves Me.)

4) Cue ate tinfoil. Then, he split his lip open. The two incidents are unrelated unless you count the day (yesterday) or the state of my mind (absent). (Post(s) I should have written: (1) I don't know, but it would have been funny. YES, that's right mean commenter, I find it funny when my kid eats tinfoil. Because it's over and he's all right and life is funny; (2) I Have to Look for the Tinfoil Where Now? (3) Needing to Be Somewhere by 9:00 Practically Guarantees Blood Before 8:00.)

5) Nate held his own bottle and I enjoyed a peaceful (?) dinner with Ess, Gee and Cue. Sob. (Post I Should have written: Sob. Practically Driving. Last Baby. Sobbbbbbb.)

6) Matt initiated a budget system that involves categories and writing shit down and oh I don't know actually being responsible for a budget. (Post I should have written: I Have to Write Down What I Spend Money On and It Is Seriously Killing My Chai Habit.)

7) My face broke out horribly. (Post(s) I should have written: (1) Oh, Hello Hormones I Haven't Seen in Five Years; (2) Honey, Maybe We Should Discuss Birth Control; (3) I Ate Too Much Chocolate over the Holidays; (4) It's Probably Expensive Caffeine Withdrawal; (5) No, Your Nasty Brewed Coffee Is Not "Just the Same.")

8) Matt bought a bottle of tequila and margarita mix. (Post(s) I Should Have Written: (1) See Above Re: Birth Control; (2) Also, Not the Same and Not Really Appropriate at 7:00 A.M.)

9) I had two blissful wine nights with the women I could not live without. One involved my first hangover in five years. (Post(s) I Should Have Written: (1) Zzzzzzzzzzzzz; (2) I May Have Caved on the Chai.)

10) My children had to write their thank you notes. By "write" I mean color the front of the damn cards. (Post(s) I Should Have Written: (1) OMIGOD, Just Color the Front of the Damn Cards!!; (2) My Children Are Never Getting Presents Ever Again; (3) Are the Holidays Over? I Think the Holidays Are Over.