Post 201 (ish)

Thanks for all your thoughts on comments and commenting. I'm looking for that elusive life balance and I appreciate the input tons. I hope you all know that I didn't mean to complain about comments (never!) or complain about not getting comments. I'm just thinking out loud.

And speaking of comments and interactions and all that good blog stuff, you are all hilarious and you have really bizarre skills. Here's the reveal and counter-reveal...in two parts!


Marinka asked, "wouldn't it be funny if no one commented? Like ever again?" No, Marinka, that would not be funny. That would be depressing. Why do you want me to be a depressed liar, Marinka? Whhhhhyyyyyy?

Melissa confides that she was not into purses before children and after the diaper bag years she's a small, cute bag fanatic. I still carry the huge honking diaper/backpack, so I get it. I was not into children before children. At all. Now, I'm a small, cute baby fanatic. Mostly my own though. And close friends. I can appreciate the cuteness of other babies, but I prefer not to touch.

Hokgardner's secret ambition in life is to be a back up singer in a band. My secret ambition in life is to write a romance novel. Not a high class, it's really about the plot romance novel. I mean a really steamy soft p0rn fantasy. (She's also celebrating her 700th post!! And she knits adorable baby sweaters.)

Mary doesn't mind commenting as long as there's no pressure or whining for comments. Me too Mary, hope you didn't feel that way about this little game! I do not like to be pressured to make a decision about eating out. I LOVE eating out and picking the restaurant is my favorite part. Matt and I have had many fights on this issue.

OHMommy wants to know if she makes any sense. No, darling, absolutely none, but I still love you. I make no sense when I don't eat. I'm irrationally, wickedly irritable. That lovely trait contributes heavily to the "where are we going to eat" fights.

The weirdest thing Jeanne's Beloved Daughter did as a small child was to take a black crayon and color over Huey, Dewey and Louie's eyes. Then she looked at what she'd done and started yelling, "They're blind! Oh, no! They're blind!" That is weird, also darkly funny. The weirdest thing Gee has done so far? He used to have cows that followed him around. He'd make them move back when they were crowding him and they slept in the closet. Now, he has a dog named Chetta. I have to hold Chetta's leash occasionally, which is inconvenient when I have babynater and my coffee. Ess' weirdest thing? She can not restrain herself from doing whatever Gee just received a time out for doing. It's like a compulsion to be in timeout too. Cue? His nanny blanket is an uptate (cupcake) every morning and I have to sing happy birthday and eat it. Maybe that's the weirdest thing I've done? Nah.

An anonymous commenter has to have things she likes in every color. I always choose chocolate brown or dark gray. It's painful for me to buy another color; I have to force myself.

Jacie broke her leg when she was four because her brother pushed her off of a picnic table into a trash can and rolled her down a hill. Oh my god, Jacie. I am so glad I don't have brothers right now and I will be keeping a close eye on Ess to try and prevent any maiming. I broke my tailbone at about twelve. Our crazy-ass dog rammed a chair I was leaning on and I fell back down on it. I cracked a rib when I was pregnant with Cue falling down our hardwood stairs. I had an arm load of laundry. God that's domestically pathetic.

Connie, mom to two lovely little ones, wants to know if she'll ever hear the blissful sound of silence again. What's that Connie? I can't hear you, it's these damn kids, they are all screaming and the TV is on and the phone might be ringing.

Christy commented that being lonely is the thing in the world she is most afraid of. I am most afraid of Matt dying. If you think about it we have almost the same fear.

Linda tells me that she dreads having to go back to work again. "I love my alone time and am never bored. But now I feel guilty not "contributing" and feel lazy for not wanting a job." I dread ever, EVER having to practice law again. I wish I could find a passion and focus. Maybe I should get on that romance novel thing?

Therealbecks is tongue-tied. For real, medically. I have no appendix. And only half a brain.

Tina says "I secretly (ok, not secretly anymore) want to be like you, more just in the blogging world and not necessarily with all the kids and stuff." Tina, I love you, I'm pretty sure no one has ever said they want to be like me before, and I hear you, I secretly want to be more like me except without all the kids and stuff too. (95% kidding.)

Lyndsay says if she had to pick any singer/musician to sit in the corner of her bedroom and serenade her upon command it would be Michael Stipe. Hmmmm. Musician captive in the corner of my bedroom? I'm embarrassed to admit that while I love music, I never really know the artist of songs. If I could have anyone captive in the corner of my bedroom? Wait. This might be getting obscene.

FADKOG wrote: "If I could have my dream job, I'd be a personal chef. Not one that was at the beck and call of a client. Not where they'd ring a bell and request a dish of ice cream at 3 a.m., and I'd have to fetch it for them. No. My idea is I meet with a client to map out their family/personal meal needs for a week or two, then shop for those needs, come into their home and use their materials to prep and freeze the food, and then leave after cleaning up. Your dream job, real or imaginary, would be?" I would absolutely love to fly around the country giving speeches. But, that would require that I be an expert at something, or have something to share that others want to hear, or be inspirational in some other way, or be a past POTUS. None of these things are in my near future. I've also always wanted to name colors for J.Cr.ew and Ral.ph Lau.ren paints. They have the best color names.

SmartAss Mom wants to know if I am having secret meetings with her husband? No. Definitely not. I barely have time for my own husband (;-)

Issa confesses to a terror of horses. No wonder since she met a killer horse as a child that broke her wrist and behaved generally badly. I adore horses and I'm a proficient rider. I owned a pony named Tammy as a child and then a horse named Bubba in high school. I've ridden across the Atlas Mountains in Morocco and through Mongolia. Matt and I rode and camped in the Australian outback for seven days. Matt's crap at riding, but his effort was so sweet. I'm terrified of too many things to list, my top two are spiders and messy children's crafts.

Tonggu Momma had the swine flu last week. I had three glasses of wine and a chocolate kiss martini last week. I currently have the arm flu in a DESPERATE quest not to have any other kind of flu this season.

LazyCrazyMama will let her kids make messes in order to get time to herself and preserve her sanity. I admire that so much. I never let my kids make messes. I hate messes. I have a hard time letting them play with water. I know, I know. Therapy fund.

AmazingGreis writes, "I love the color red, I hate most veggies, I have a food and television addiction and I'm in LOVE with Justin Timberlake." I love dark brown; I hate peppers unless they are incredibly spicy and cut up really, really small, preferably in a salsa with a margarita on the side. I have an ice cream and television addiction and I have a ridiculous crush on Matt Damon, but only when he's Jason Bourne in the black kicking-ass suit. Also, Viggo Mortensen, but only when he's wearing a sword and protecting hobbits.

From Christy: "I am neurotic about folding towels. They have to be folded just the right way and stacked neatly in my linen closet. But the clothes? I let them sit in the basket for WEEKS." I have to say I'm not a folder. I am neurotic about clutter. My house is consistently, painfully neat. Dirt doesn't bother me as much. I hate to actually clean.

Mama Cas confesses: "I'd rather drink Mountain Dew all day than eat real food. If MD had liquor in it, I'd be a smelly, homeless, divorced bag lady by now living under the Brooklyn Bridge and naming the flies buzzing around my festering foot blisters." I love food, but I hate to cook. Eating out is my idea of heaven. I love your imagery, but I don't think there's anything that I'd follow into homelessness. I am a creature comforts person. Fireplace. Ice cream. Soft bed. Running water. I don't camp at all and homelessness sounds a lot like permanent camping.

Kirsten reports, "I am having a hard time helping my 2nd grade daughters with their homework this year. What do these things mean!! \a\ \å\ /ke/ Am I the only idiot mom who is confused??" No, Kirsten, all us idiot moms are confused. Promise. I have no idea what those symbols are. Have aliens taken over the schools? Are they teaching our children alien languages? OMIGOD! Is Obama the head alien? (I. AM. KIDDING.)

Susie really, really likes to watch tv. Her favorite book is The Preservationist by David Maine. I haven't read that, but I love to read and I'll check it out. I used to read so many books a month and now I'm lucky if I read a book every other month. Two of my favorite books are Jitterbug Perfume and The Bone People. Right now, I'm reading Native Son by Richard Wright.

See what I mean, quirky, funny, intelligent people hang out around here. No wonder I missed comments. Stay tuned, I'll post the other half tomorrow.