Thoughts While Running

I just went running. I know. I can't believe it either. I had to go because I convinced two friends to do a triathlon with me on June 7 and I'm supposed to run for the team. Three miles. While that's not an insurmountable distance in a month (right?), I need to have run more recently than, oh I don't know, 2002 before then. I had some thoughts this morning. I share:

• I hate running.
  
• Why is it still cold here? When will our two months of summer ever begin? Why does the Inland Pacific Northwest insist on being so annoyingly crisp and perky and chipper?
  
• I am wasting alone time. Two kids are sleeping and HSSH has the baby and I am running, which I hate, in the cold, which I hate.
  
• Why are there sprinklers on already? These people are crazy, grass-watering fiends. The grass doesn't need water, folks, it needs sun, for photosynthesis.
  
• I have a stitch. The same stitch that I have been getting since I had my rotten appendix removed through my belly button last year. I raised this stitch with the surgeon in my post-operative check up, resulting in this enlightening conversation:

Surgeon: What's a stitch?
Me: You know, an excruciating pain in your side. Like when you run after you eat.
S: You shouldn't be running yet.
Me: I know, I get it when I walk is the thing.
S: Oh, well that just means we put a small perforation in your abdominal muscles during the surgery. It will heal.

Hmmmmmm. I've always thought that was an interesting use of the word 'just.'

• I had to put my hair up. Irritating because I just went to this fabulous new salon on Wednesday and my hair looked, for me, stunning. I was trying hard not to have to wash it again, ever. Or at least until after tonight when I am going out with a girlfriend as a Mother's Day treat. Ponytail plus running means shower, which means I have to do my hair sans stylist and big round brush and jet engine like blow dryer. Sigh.

These were my thoughts during my ten minutes of running this morning. Yes, that's right, ten minutes. It was my first day. I have a month. Anyone have a comment on that?! Because, I'm scared and I'm not sure if I want it. And, that's saying something. Normally, I am insanely interested in who you are that come to visit me here and I would love to hear from you. Unless you are a marathon runner, or you don't think I can achieve three miles in a month. In that case, carry on snickering to yourself quietly and comment some other time.

At least, so I schemed, the shower would extend my alone time. I went straight there after breakfast, turned on the steaming hot water, stepped in and discovered my daughter's poop covered outfit from three days ago. I vaguely recalled a code red overflow situation that involved stripping her naked and wiping her down in the shower. (Yes, the shower went unused for three days. We do have another shower, but I haven't been in it due to operation hair preservation.) I had to rinse out the clothes because, you know, yuck. And then, I had to clean the shower, because ditto. And then, I had to actually clean myself (you see the theme). I went ahead and wiped down the rest of the bathroom surfaces and cleaned the toilet. Might as well.

It is now 9:00 a.m. on a Saturday and I have gone on a run and cleaned a bathroom. I need Starbucks.